The Penguin's Resistance Army

She peered over the ledge at the pitiful creatures below.  Funding for the Tallahassee zoo had been cut by eighty-three percent in the last three years, and Samantha could tell.  Rather than spend their time relaxing on an ice floe, Harry and Larry, the zoo’s gay penguins, sat in a ninety-five-degree kiddie pool.  Instead of eating freshly-captured fish, they subsisted on peanuts and handfuls of cotton candy tossed over the exhibit railing by the zoo’s patrons.  Even though Samantha didn’t understand how any type of human or animal could prefer a cold environment and raw fish to a warm kiddie pool and cotton candy, she realized there was something wrong about Harry and Larry’s situation. 

Suddenly, as if she had just watched a heart-wrenching half-hour documentary about the injustices of penguin captivity in Florida, Samantha decided that she needed to do something to help those pitiful penguins.  Since she was only twelve, she didn’t have enough money to help the zoo’s financial woes.  She also had no understanding of political activism, so she couldn’t really do much to raise awareness, either.  Instead, she decided to take a more straightforward approach.  Spinning in a quick circle to make sure nobody else was looking, Samantha grabbed the railing of the exhibit, pulled herself up to the ledge around the habitat, looked down, took a deep breath, and jumped. 

Four feet later, she was standing next to Harry and Larry.  She walked over to the kiddie pool and said, “Come on, guys, we’re going to bust this joint.”  The penguins simply looked at her.  Samantha realized that she probably couldn’t talk Harry and Larry through the situation since they clearly didn’t understand English, and she couldn’t speak Penguin.  So, she pulled out a pack of bubblegum from her back pocket and started to lure them out of their pool.  She walked over to the gate in front of the habitat stairs and hoped there was some way to open it.  She turned the handle and the gate opened.  Apparently, the gate lock had broken months before, but due to a disagreement over whether or not the locksmith would accept free zoo passes in lieu of payment, the lock was never fixed.  Samantha viewed this as a sign that she was doing the right thing by rescuing the penguins.  She knew there was only one place that they could survive… one lone attraction that was adequately cold for a penguin. 

She started to perspire due to nerves.  She quickly led the waddling penguins around various exhibits, hiding behind dead bushes when visitors wandered too close.  Finally, after five minutes, she reached her destination.  She picked up Harry and threw him over the edge.  He landed in the water below with a satisfying “plunk”.  Next, she threw Larry.  There was a loud roar.  Unfortunately, Samantha hadn’t realized that, when placed in the same habitat, polar bears view penguins as a viable food source.

--Sampo Hynynen